your main job

Your top priority is to be there for your wife and to listen to her. This is 80% of your responsibilities. The other 20% is taking things off her plate.

Do more for her; cook, do chores, schedule events with friends, pay bills. Understand her insurance and don’t hesitate to call them with questions and to challenge what looks like unfair bills.

Let your employer know you will be going to her appointments and need days off, half days, and times where you will be working from home. Go to every appointment… unless she tells you not to come.

Buy an accordion folder or binder! Before every appointment talk with her and make a list of all the questions you want to ask and bring them with you. At the end of the appointment, it’s your job to ask any uncovered items on the list. When you go to the appointments keep notes on everything and place them as well as receipts in your binder.

Be positive. It’s important for you and her to focus on the positive. Make sure to take her out on dates. One of the best times to go is during time periods where you are waiting for test results or your next appointment. Get her gifts occasionally, make her special meals, buy her flowers. Make it your duty to do nice things for her.

I highly recommend getting the book BCH.  My favorite quote from the book was the reminder of my top three priorities. “Giver of moral support, note taker, keeper of the question list.” Seems kind of silly, but those are your main roles.